Fathers Day Beach Trip

The plan was to head out to Wollongong early in the morning to spend the day so the kids could have fun at the beach but we all ended up sleeping in. So when i finally rolled out of bed it was 8am. I made hubby brekky which was just bacon and eggs which is great coming from me as I'm not much of a cook. Hubby is the chef in our house! So we ended up heading out around lunch time. 

As soon as we got there the kids took off, its such a shame the beach is so far away. Ngaro had a tumble over head first from jumping the waves and becoming unbalanced only after being there for about 10 minutes but she was ready to head straight back in after she wiped her face clean of all the sand. 

B.J kept asking me if there were any sharks in the water. Well I couldn't lie now could I? Both the kids are content just jumping the waves and making sand castles at this stage which is great. I took my camera in hopes I would get a couple decent shots lol. The kids weren't in the mood for pictures. I don't think i got any smiles and I kept getting B.J squinting which he is classic for, but all in all we had fun so that was great!.

Ebz xoxox

Where has my baby gone?

Ngaroahiahi Princess 

(this is what she prefers to be called, she corrects me when I call her Ngaro)

I love this picture, shes so serious!

Well we have just gotten back online and man its good to be back. We have been super busy and being "disconnected" from the big wide web and it made me realise just how much I used to sit in front of my computer screen day in and day out, on forums and reading blogs and the naughty ebay I dont know where I used to fit in my sleeping. So now i've come back i'd better be more behaved. So I wanted to update my blog as its looking blah. We've been super busy and the kids are growing up way too fast.

Ngaro had her 4th birthday while we were away. I look at her and see someone so much older, in most of my photo's she's always looked like the older on out of the two kids. She already stomps around saying to me " I don't want to" and "It wasn't me it was B.J" and her favourite at the moment when I pick her up from school, while driving home "where are we going mum, I don't want to go home!" followed by a scream! I must be pretty boring while my daughter never wants to go home. 

B.J has shown so much improvement during the last few months I am so so happy for him. He has just started reading recovery this week and is enjoying it so far. He has put so much effort into his reading and writing and is very specific with his sounds. When we would be reading and he used to get stuck on a word I would ask him to sound it out and he would use a mixture of sounds and the names of the letters, now its just sounds he has distinguished between the sounds and letters now which is great because I know it used to frustrate him as well, as he would try so hard.

An update on me, well not only did i get myself a new Apple "YAY", I got my long awaited camera. The Canon 400D and I am so happy and of courses I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! Now to learn how to use it!!.

So I will be posting more often so I can show how much my two have grown using my new "baby".

Ebz xoxo

Worried Mum

I am currently stressing out regarding BJ's education and I just don't know what to do.

I have had a lack of communication from BJ's teacher or school regarding how he is coping at school. I took it upon myself to speak to BJ's teacher about how he is doing on the first day back of term 2 and got told that he has serious learning difficulty in many areas which were noticed quite early on.

When i asked why i hadn't been informed of these things, his teachers response was she was just " too busy". I have and am still continuously stressed about his situation.

BJ is in year 1 and I was told that he has serious reading difficulty, has troubles with learning his sounds which contribute to his slow pace in learning quite alot. I was told that he every spelling test he cries and refuses to do it. This breaks me heart that his teacher didn't think to contact me as soon as this started. This began in the first term. 

In my opinion he stresses out in the test environment, but it really was a shock as he was and has been fine practicing his spelling at home every night. 

I was just told last thursday when i asked his teacher what reading level he is currently at that he is at a Level 3. I know that by the end of kindy their goal is to reach a Level 8 and by the end of year 1 to reach Level 18. I have no idea why they didn't think it was urgent enough to speak to me about it. 

As you can tell i am seriously worried about him. A couple weeks ago I completed a volunteer reading course which will enable me to volunteer at schools and help teach children with reading struggles. I have spoken to the Principle, Vice Principle, School Counsellor and his Teacher. 

I really get the feeling that his teacher just doesn't care. BJ's teacher in particular every time i have spoken to her she has always stated that she is just too busy to help him. Last thursday at our meeting I was expecting some sort of action plan to be put in place to help him, instead i was told again of his struggles and told to help him at home.

I have asked for specifics, resources and have received no help. I am more than happy to help my son but I just do not know where to begin. I may be over reacting to some but I am so very worried about the quality of his education.

I have already had an interveiw at another local school, I can't possibly afford to hire any help and can't stress enough how worried I am.

Tracy, thank you so much for having the time to speak to me breifly about BJ it means so much and I really needed the opinion of a teacher.

If anyone has any suggestions for me, please I am more than happy to hear them

Ebz xoxo

Parihaka Kohu 13.05.54 - 27.04.07

Well this has been very difficult and I am sitting here at Nikki's because I have culled my internet & home phone and the timing couldn't have come at a worse time.

On Friday 27th of April I got the news that my aunty had suddenly passed away. I had been in an interview that was a waste of time and had turned my phone off. To come out of that and get such news was even more heartbreaking as my father had been trying to ring me.

I still do not know how it happened, all I know is that it was very sudden. Aunty was 4 years younger than my father, and they were very close.

I always visited aunty Haka everytime we went home. She always loved to see the kids, and hear how things were, she was always very geniuinly interested in what was going on in our lives.

I know for a fact it hasn't sunk in for me. I don't know when it will, being so far away hasn't helped me with my grieving. I don't think I will beleive she is gone until I go home to visit her doorstep and she wont be there.

I know this will be hardest on all her children and moko's. She would always brag to dad that she had more moko's than him, always brought a smile to my face, but never made me want anymore children lol.

I had been thinking about her alot lately. About what I will talk to her about when we finally moved home. She was very knowledgeable. She knew alot about the family and for that I am so sad not to have found out more from her. I was wanting to go home and pick her brain on our family history, family stories, anything really.

My heart is breaking for obvious reasons but I am really worried about my cousin. She is one of my closest cousins and I couldn't get a hold of her over the weekend. I miss her all the time and my heart is aching for them all. 

Also for my father. He was extremely close to her. I heard that when she was buried it rained. My father said she hid his tears for him by bringing the rain. I really miss everyone back home and can't wait to get there!

Uncle Ian my heart breaks for you. Your darling has gone to heaven and is in a better place. Love you

In memory of my Aunty Haka. Love you always & forever.

Ebz & family xoxo

Its a scroller..

From left to right

Front Row
Paige held by Lailah, Te Ao Marama held by Naomi, Ngaroahiahi, Toni-Jaye held by Mariah-Sioux

Back Row
Rawiri, Tuwhakaputaina, Brandon-Jaye

Taken at Yatton Park, Tauranga 2005

I will write about what I have been thinking about the most lately....
Lately I have been missing all of my family in New Zealand. I have also been thinking quite a lot about Stanley's father that passed in September just gone. I didn't have my blog then so I will enlighten you all a little ok a lot.

BJ & Ngaro in New Zealand coming from the Auckland Airport

In December 05 I took BJ & Ngaro back home for a family visit of two months, yep, I missed my family that much! & yep Stanley was staying here in OZ to work, lovely hubby I have. So we stayed for xmas and quite a bit after.

Just before our trip we had heard that Stanley's father Chuck had been a little sick, perhaps Pneumonia but they were waiting on results. So the day after we arrived I took the kids to visit him. It was great to see him and Cindy and the kids and he seemed well to me. He did have an awful cough and had cut down on smokes considerably but otherwise I thought he was the same.

He had been back and forth to the hospital over the last month which had been draining, but they weren't sure on the diagnosis yet. We stayed for a few days, then went back to my family which is only a 40 minute drive away. A couple weeks went by, xmas came and went, and mum and dad had planned a get together with their best friends for New Years Eve, so we made a whole family trip out of it.

It was a long trip about 8 hours long, it was tiring but the wait was worth it. My Auntie and Uncle manage a bar opposite the ocean it was so beautiful and refreshing. On our drive down, i noticed a couple spots on BJ. After we had arrived I knew immediately what he had as he came up with more and more spots. Chicken Pox, the nearest town with a Chemist was 2 hours away, but luckily the local store had some supplies & headed into town the next morning to get some more.

BJ at Tokomaru Bay with his Chicken Pox

We all had a great time, the kids had much fun, playing at the beach everyday, outdoor games, it was a lot of fun. BJ was a good sport too and I'm sure the sea water done wonders to his healing. It was great to catch up with Auntie Paddy & Uncle Michael and my favourite cousin Angela who is still living a single live and loving it. Oh and can't forget little Mike, Chocco as we call him. It was great. We grew up with this family in Australia, we aren't related, but have always been like family.
Those of you who know me know that I hardly drink, once in a blue moon if that! So being down there I was hoping to get one in lol. So all had been well and we spoke to hubby almost daily. I was bathing the kids getting ready to put them to bed so that i could have my long awaited drink, we had been there for about 5 days and we had two more days to go and Dad was bugging me to have a drink as it could have been the only one we could have together in years.
So just before heading down to join everyone Stanley rings me with the worst news ever. Chuck had been diagnosed with Cancer, and they had given him 6 months. I was distraught, I just couldn't believe it, I was beside myself, and I was thinking I need to get Stanley over here to see his father. So obviously after many tears had shed while on the phone, I went for a drink, a very long one at that! I went down and told my dad and well drank like it was tap water basically. We talked about our memories together, which then made me feel worse because he was still here, he was still living. I tried to make the most out of my night, before I would let reality hit me in the morning. So I drank with everyone, but mum as she was feeling ill. We had karaoke and I think that many of you don't know but I love to sing. Dad was bugging me to sing with him, well it was supposed to be Dad and his daughters, so me, Nikki & Toni, I agreed, because I have never sang with my dad, and it would have been a great opportunity. No one else would though, didn't bother me, I went up chose our song, Eagles - Hotel California and all was set. But when it came to it, Dad folded & asked my brother in law to sing with me. Cop out lol. Anyway, we loved it, and I still sang, and there was many more where that came from which lasted until the early morning.

So when we went back to Tauranga, mum and dad arranged for Stanley to fly over. I think it was 2 days after the call. I picked him up and took him straight to see Chuck. It was a lovely surprise and I was so happy for him to have seen Chuck. I don't remember how long he was here, but we ended up driving all over the show to see the rest of Stan's family.
For the last few days we stayed with Stan's father. It was always good to be around him. Chuck and Cindy came with us to take Stan to the airport. I took photo's which i still haven't developed. I am hoping there are some great ones.

That was the last time I saw Chuck & he knew who we were. We did call and try to speak to him every two weeks, but he is such a traveller, that he was almost always out and about. But when we did talk to him he seemed fine. The conversations were getting shorter as he needed his rest but I didn't really think of him being sick.

It must have been a mere 2 or 3 weeks since the last time we spoke to him and we were receiving text messages from Stanley's sister saying we need to come over now, and that Chuck is asking for Stan, he wants him there. I think the thing was that it came out of nowhere, it shocked us so much. We were on the phones to everyone trying to find out what was going on.

We spoke to Cindy while she was at the hospital with Chuck as he was meant to have Chemo but he refused it. She did sound fine, and reassured us that he was fine, so that panic left our system. But that same day, we continue to receive messages from Gina, so we ring and speak to her and she confirms that we need to get there ASAP. We knew that Chuck wouldn't ask for Stanley to come over unless he knew his time to leave was approaching. Chuck had deteriorated so quickly that there was no warning, as myself and Stan were upset that we hadn't been kept up to date.

So one or two days later Stan and BJ were flying out. We decided that Stan would go and see for himself how serious things were as we were getting such mixed messages from the two closest people in his life.

They spent a couple days up at the hospital with Chuck but he refused any treatment, he had lost sight in one eye, could barely speak and demanded to be taken home. Mum and Dad went up to the hospital to visit him also, Chuck was happy to see them and asked everyone where Ngaro was, he wanted his Ngaro. When Stan called me I could tell he wasn't well. But he held off for a couple days before telling us to come. When he realised how fast he was deteriorating he rang and all he said to me was "I made a mistake and you should have came when we did. I need you here now. " So we organised our flight which was two days away. Me and Ngaro arrived around midnight I don't remember the days at all. Stan's old friend Braedon picked us up and we went straight to the house to see him.

Cindy was so relieved when we arrived, she had been struggling it out for the last month having to look after Chuck. We held each other for a long time. You could see the relief in her face. She looked so worn out and tired. She said that Stan had been the best help ever, because she didn't have anyone else to help her out so it was such a burden lifted from her when Stan came to help.

We had a little talk before I went into see him. Stan pulled me aside and told me he doesn't look like the Chuck we know. He can't respond to me, he can't see out of either eyes and he's on morphine. I thought I would be fine but I wasn't.

I held myself together, but my heart was breaking for him. I spoke to him and told him I was sorry we didn't come sooner and that Ngaro and I were here now and it was ok, and it would all be ok. I sat with him for about 30 minutes just talking. As soon as I walked out the door, I broke down. I just couldn't believe how fast this disease had taken him away.

The next day my mother drove over to pick me up to take me back to Tauranga so I could pick up a vehicle to use. It was about 6am and I woke the two kids up and took them with me so that Stan could get some rest. We got there, I got the van we were going to use and Dad had told me to check everything out before I leave town. So I went to the gas station and pumped the tyres, but one kept going down. So I was delayed while dad came to meet me and get it fixed. I got to see my other sister briefly as she stopped in at the gas station as she knew I was headed back right away. It was a little breather and took longer for me to get back but still we made it. We went back and everyone was doing something, but we were like zombies.

For some reason, I was getting really tired. So I went into the van as I love sleeping in the car in the NZ sun, its nothing like here in Australia. So I tried and tried but I couldn't get to sleep. I had headaches but nothing helped. I was in there for an hour and Stan came and got me and told me that its almost time and to come inside.

Ever since we arrived back from Tauranga, Ngaro had been running in and out and in and out of her Koros room. She'd look at him, and say that's koro, and then run out like it was all a game. It was a gorgeous day, typical NZ weather, a bit crisp and cold but lovely sun. It was in the afternoon, we had music playing in the room as we sang, and when songs came on that we know Chuck wouldn't have liked we quickly got up to change them and giggled a little. We could all see him slowly slipping away.

Stanley sang a song and said a prayer, Cindy spoke to her darling and told him it was ok, and that she and the kids will be ok, and to just let go, but then she started to wail. Chuck knew she wasn't ok and he started to fight again, I'm sitting here in tears, remembering. Cindy apologised, and told him that they will be fine and she was sorry for crying out like that, and he began to relax again.

Silly me needed my nicotine fix, and went outside with the sister in law, a couple minutes later we hear wailing coming from the room. We knew, he had gone, he was finally gone, and in no more pain. It was a relief but then worry filled my mind, of what to do next. Stan sang and sang with his father, and spent a lot of time with him. He asked me to ring everyone to tell them of the news. I tried and I thought I can hold it together for Stanley, this is one things he's asked me to do I can do it. Boy was I wrong. I rang my parents first they were only 15 minutes away as they were coming to bring some food to the house to help out a little. I broke down, they knew what had happened but I couldn't even tell them, I just cried. Next i tried Stanley's Auntie & Uncle and the same happened, I was a wreck.

I have written such a long post already and it can very well become almost 10 times longer of the events that happened for the next 5 days after.

Waikaremoana Lake on our last day travelling to take Chuck home

We kept him for 5 days. He didn't want to be embalmed as it was against his religion. I was worried for him when I heard that but I will tell you now, its as if he was, because he held out well. He had planned everything already, which is why he was out all those times when we tried to reach him. He wanted to visit 5 places. 4 Marae and his family homestead. The trip took 3 days. First stop his homestead, which they drove past so flagged it. Which we weren't happy about. Second place was a Marae we were only staying for a couple hours but did the whole tradition welcoming on, they had prepared a meal for us it was good. From there we went to another Marae and slept the night.

I will say it was the coldest night in my entire life. And I had put on 2 pairs of pants, 3 tops and a jacket, all which I slept in. It was deep in the valleys and truly gorgeous. On our way to this Marae we were sharing the roads with Bulls and Wild Horses, too bad I was driving otherwise I would have loved to have snapped away at those, and the morning mist stayed till midday and it was cold, very cold. The next day we made our trip to the next Marae, and for some reason that didn't happen, so we ended up going to the last Marae where we would stay.

We stayed for 3 nights, we ended up at a hotel and we stayed there. There was quite a lot of uncomfortable feelings so this is what we decided to do. However on the last night Stanley stayed at the Marae and slept next to his father.

Ngaroahiahi & her uncle Te Manurongo

My parents had come down 2 days earlier, but ended up having to drive back to Tauranga which was 8 hours away because plans feel through for someone to pick up my younger sister who was away at Kapahaka. So they had arrived back that day, extremely tired and I was so happy to see them. Did I tell you the roads from the first Marae to the last one, weren't roads at all. They were dirt roads, barely wide enough to fit two cars, I was nervous driving all the way, up steep hills and back down again, is a trip that I don't ever want to make again.

Dad brought a flag to cover Chuck as Cindy wanted one, the Tinorangatiratanga flag, and it suited him. I must say though, (and I'm a bit upset that I didn't get a photo although I didn't feel it was appropriate), but Chucks Casket was the most beautiful one I had ever seen in my entire life. It was covered in Harakeke all the way around. It had patterns through the weaving and it was just stunning. I'm not sure how others might feel about me talking that way, but I can only say that is how I felt as did others. It was beautiful, fit for a king.

He was carried about a 10 minute walk up a hill to their Urupa - Grave site. The ceremony was beautiful, I sat and cried and we sang and his children sang and the day was beautiful. It was good to meet the family that we never knew. We had people in awe of our daughter because of her name. We didn't know that Ngaro was named after someone, and she was the second. All the Kuia just loved her.

Stan & his younger brother Manu

All in all it was just an amazing journey, trip and we learnt a lot from it and met so many that we are happy to have met. It was somewhat of a relief for me to get back to my family and just relax with them for the next couple of days.

So that was our Journey to Lake Waikaremoana - Tuhoe. The first time I had ever been down there, but it was honestly beautiful and we can see why he wanted to buried back home.

BJ with Urupa in distance

I really miss him as I'm sure we all do. In this picture off into the distance above BJ's head is where Chuck is buried. I love this photo, he obviously is doing a Pukana, but wasn't prompted to, I was just taking shots of the Urupa and BJ jumps in and does that, so its special to me.

I have heard that her and the kids are moving to the Lake this year to live.

Chuck you were special and you still are! The kids still talk about you and remember their times with their Koro Truck!! lol

Lake Waikaremoana - Tuhoe

Ebz xoxo

Goodbye for a while

Update~ Our connection will end this coming Tuesday so I may be able to squeeze some more blogging in xoxo

This is a quick one and unfortunately the last one for a while as we are going off line with our internet & home phone. We are trying very hard to save so we decided to cull what wasn't a necessity in our lives so off with the net & home phone.

We will be checking our alternate internet address from time to time so please do keep in touch.

Here is my alternate email addy to those who I have forgotten to email

blackmyst1@hotmail.com


To you all keep well & until we come back!
Much love from Ebz, Stan, BJ & Ngaro.

My clever 3 and a half year old

Last week Ngaro pulled out my notepad and a pencil and started drawing. Nothing out of the ordinary, but she wanted to write her name. Anyway i wrote a few things for her to copy and thought nothing of it. First thing she wrote was B.J. Then she wanted to write mum, then Koro & Nan.

I have never sat her down and done any writing activities with her so I was really impressed and still am. I am amazed that she could recognize the small differences in the letters that I wouldn't expect from her at her age.

So here is the 3rd & 4th word she wrote that day. You can tell i am one proud mum!!



Then today while we have B.J home sick from school she wanted to try the numbers just like on her place mat. Off she went to find her "Dora home reader" as she calls it as she gets confused with BJ's home reader and home work book.



(Don't mind my shocking writing it was done with my left hand as she wouldn't let me write on it properly, she thought i was taking her "home reader" away ;-)

She was so concentrated while she wrote, and she was so happy of herself when she knew she had done it just right! She also knew when her attempt was back to front, she would say "oops thats the wrong way!!"

What a clever little girl i have!! I am so proud of her efforts. She is such an independent girl!

BJ's Pirate Party

BJ's 6th Birthday Pirate Party

Today was supposed to be stress free, well thats what I imagined it would be since we were to be having BJ's Party at Hungry Jacks but boy was I wrong. It was a total nightmare, i was running around like a headless chook stressing out as the hostesses were totally and utterly useless. (Thats putting it nicely) Hubby has sworn that the next party is at home whether we live in a villa or not.

I must say the kids were oblivious to all the mistakes that were made at the birthday party so that was good. They all had so much fun, we ended up running an hour late but thank goodness all the parents were understanding!!

I must admit i was very happy with the kids outfits, as i left it until yesterday to figure out what they were going to wear (nothing out of the ordinary). I was very happy that i found everything I needed for their costumes at home. I just added eye patches, swords, hooks, earrings and tattoos and we were ready to go.

Here are some pics, best i could get as the kids hardly ever want to co-operate with me. Im so happy the kids had fun!

Here is a link to a slide show i made BJ's Pirate Party

My Dancing Pants

I bought Ngaro some leggings about a month ago and whenever she spots her grey pair she wants to put them on. She calls them her dancing pants. I'm not sure why she only associates dancing with her grey pair but I love it!! Its so darn cute!

Here is a pic i captured last week. It was on my cell phone so its definately not anything great. I do love how the picture turned out though. Ngaro was twirling "like a Ballerina mummy!"

Theres just something about this shot, i wanted to share.

My little Ballerina xoxo

Kept Forever In The Heart

Its been 30 days since a terrible loss occurred which has affected me & my family and so many people all over the world. Every single day that passes by I stop and think about a special friend of mine and her family. They have gone through what no parent should ever have to go through, the loss of a child. On Monday February 5th 07 Sheye & Crayton lost their daughter Ava at the age of 3. Ava spread her angel wings and flew to heaven.

It was a tragic accident, that could happen to anyone, anywhere at any given time.

These words are from Sheye

"Our beautiful daughter Ava got into our car which was, unusually, parked in full sun in the middle of the day. She had been with Grandad who lives next door (we have one wall around both properties) and said she was returning to my house but in fact went searching for something in the car. We always lock it. Just not that day. Once she got in she shut the door and was not able to find her way back out"

Ava was taken to the hospital and in ICU for two days. It was a battle that Ava couldn't win, as someone was whispering her name. Ava fought bravely but on Monday the 5th of February Ava was taken to become an Angel, to watch over her family from the fluffy clouds above.

The sadness I feel for Ava's family is unexplainable. I have never met Sheye or any of her family, although I hoped to one day. The only way I can describe my friendship with Sheye is that she is a "online friend", this should not be confused with meaning any less to me than a "real life friend" would mean. Sheye is an astounding Photographer, her pictures capture the many moments of every day life just perfectly. I have always wanted to become a photographer, and I am still no where near my dream but Sheye has given me so much inspiration and is a constant reminder of why I wanted to become a photographer. Why I still want to.

Sheye is a loving mother, wife and friend who has great values and what matters the most to her is her family. Here is a snippet from Sheyes Blog, read it and you will see what kind of lady she is...

I have four children really...

You just wouldn't know it the way I post pics of the girls - espescially Princess Ava. I can explain - you see she's never away from me. Like glue, she sticks to my side...a constant babble of "mummy i'm hungry..close your eyes i've got a suprise...can you read me a book...i want to go to the shops"...so when I pick up my camera, she's the first thing i see.

It's obvious for all to see that Sheye has nothing but unconditional love for her children, her family, her friends. She has the kindest soul, she is giving, forgiving, caring, supportive, loving and so so much more. I don't know why this has happened to this family. It is so unfair. I do believe they will get through this. I don't know when. They have the support of so many people all over the world and we will be here waiting and ready whenever they need us.

On Saturday 10th of February the Rosemeyers farewelled their daughter Ava. Those who could not make the funeral were all saying their special farewells to Princess Ava where ever they were all over the world and releasing their own PINK balloons for Ava. It was such a beautiful, peaceful day and we had no idea where we were going celebrate her life. I drove my family for over an hour and found a lovely spot up at the Blue Mountains. It was truly peaceful, i can't explain it. We released our pink balloons for Ava and we all wore pink clothing as did everyone else all over the world. It was Ava's favorite colour of all and it was a special way to remember her. When the balloons were further off in the distance they looked like silver dots in the sky. We are sure that Ava caught every single one of her special pink balloons.

Here is a link to some pictures of people all over the world Celebrating Ava's Life with Pink Balloons xoxo FOR AVA

I would like to share some pics of our balloon release for such a divine little princess!!

 

Everyone....

Please please please!! teach your children how to get out of a car if they are trapped. Teach them to sit on the horn and sound it until someone comes to help them. This request is from the Rosemeyer family. Just take one minute out of your day to teach your own children, your friends children this one important lesson.

Sheye & Crayton, my heart weeps daily for your loss, the loss of a true princess!! Ava was such a beautiful, vibrant, happy, loving Super Princess!!

Ava is missed terribly, she is forever treasured and will never be forgotten.

We are always here for you and your family

Love Ebony, Stan, BJ & Ngaroahiahi xoxo

My Little Man Turns 6

Today was no normal day, it was a celebration of my sons birthday. It is his 6th Birthday today and he has been counting down for the last two weeks. I can't believe how fast time flies, i still feel like i am 18 years old, just now i have two little precious children to love and cherish.

I can still remember when I found out i was pregnant with BJ. My sister took me to the doctor to have a pregnancy test and I couldn't believe it. It explains alot though, i had been feeling very sick for the week prior, I remember feeling awful, a feeling i had never experienced ever before and I will never forget one of my customers commenting on my sickness being "morning sickness". I shrugged it off obviously and thought nothing of the sort.

BJ was not planned, but a gift given to me and my husband, a gift i would never opt to give back, and one i have never taken for granted. My pregnancy started some excitement in my family. You see, I am the second youngest daughter in my family. I have 6 older sisters and one younger adopted sister. And in our family are girls, girls and more girls. All the grand children were girls and wants for a boy were very strong by many people in my family.

I must admit, i knew, i knew as soon as i found out i was carrying that i was going to give birth to a boy, mothers instinct. I just knew. When i found out that I was carrying a boy, i gave my son his name. Brandon-Jaye i called him. After my father. I didn't ask anyone, not even Stan, it just came naturally. Stanley was totally supportive with naming our son after his Koro (Grand father) so obviously i was over the moon.

My father on the other hand wasn't too impressed, (although to this day i don't believe his little lecture lol) You see, my father thinks of himself of having bad luck, and that any child that was named after him was to have bad luck also. Anywhoo I was having my fathers first grand son and i wanted him named after my father and that was that. I actually gave my son my fathers whole name. Brandon-Jaye Tahakura Kohu. I often wondered where my grand father or grand mother came up with Brandon-Jaye in 1950 in New Zealand, but that didn't matter, what i mean is that they had chosen such a lovely name for my father. BJ's name was to be hyphened with hubbies last name too. Dad insisted on changing the name a little. So he provided a name which is Tamarawaho. Tamarawaho is one of our Ancestors, my son has a very strong name but he carries it well.

Oh how i wish time would just slow down, i cant believe how fast my son has grown. I remember driving myself to the hospital when i had contractions, also pulling over at the gas station to get some batteries for my camera to make sure that hubby takes some pictures of BJ's delivery (which never happened). Stan thought it was hilarious, waddling into the gas station, waiting until the contraction finished before moving any further. Thinking back, i suppose i was a bit strange...

I remember BJ's birth so well because it was so very frightening for me. I had everything you could possibly think of in ways of pain relief, my delivery was not progressing well at all and we ended up having to have a forceps delivery (after being told it could possibly be a Cesar). I had an epidural just prior so i couldn't feel my legs, but i was dreading having to bring my son into this world by someone pulling on his precious little head. I tried as hard as i could to push, with all the might i had, and i still don't know whether my efforts done anything at all.

I had my husband Stanley and my sisters Nikki and Tangiwai in the surgery room with me. Nikki was 6 months pregnant with my nephew. I remember when they were pulling BJ out I heard clicks, i was scared to death, i asked the Dr what was happening, and i got no response. I was terrified, all i had to do was look at my sister and she knew i was terrified. Tangiwai is one big sister, and needless to say, they answered her when she asked! When they put him up on my chest, he was limp, he didn't move, i couldn't see him breathing, i couldn't feel a thing, within a second i pleaded to my sister Tangiwai to see if he was ok. Then i heard him cry, it was the most precious sound i have ever heard. The sound of a new born baby just makes my heart melt. He was finally here, and he was safe and sound.


We have been through so much in the last 6 years, i could fill this blog just talking about my son, my little man, my buddy, mummies little boy. All his acheivements, his first word, his first tooth, his first graze, his bright smile, his soft voice, his loving nature.

Our son is such a special boy, he and his sister has put our lives into perspective , he is precious, and heaven sent.

Love you always my son xoxo Mum